I suppose I’ve been silent long enough. It’s just that I had lost my voice for a while. One sleepless night, and the voice comes right back. Like a bad penny, you know. So here I am again, to rant early in the morning.
So, I was at a wedding last night. And yes, it was awful. But it got me thinking. What’s up with the ostentatious, shameful consumption at weddings? I mean weddings are disgusting as it is but looking around me, I saw overdressed people stuffing their (bored, caked with make-up) faces. This brings me back to auntie (and uncle) bashing. Hell yes. Think grey-white make-up, crusty eyes and too much lipstick. And then add to it the over-abundance of food. Food goes in, lipstick goes on glasses and everybody goes home.
Holy matrimony aside, weddings are truly awful. You have to admit nobody looks good at weddings. People look awful. They eat too much. They smile too much. It’s awkward and boring. I was dragged to this wedding by my parents because it was one of those neighborly obligations. They threatened me with an early demise so I had to lather on make-up and go. Of course I couldn’t beat the aunties. They had more make-up on than I manage in a year. Doesn’t anybody tell them how the harsh lights bring out the paste? They look like monsters.
I was also mostly bored out of my mind so I spent a lot of time staring into space. That gave me the opportunity to watch some aunties stumble out of the men’s room. I mean can’t people read? Or maybe they’re blind and they can’t tell that the picture with the skirt is the one for the ladies? And the one without the skirt means for men. Maybe aunties are born without the ability to figure that one out. They probably try to squat on urinals in their expensive clothes (plus lots of gold jewellery) and wonder what isn’t right.
People spend shitloads of money on these weddings. The clothes, the food, the venue…it’s nasty really. I mean, there are people out there who are starving and have no electricity. And all I can do is bitch about weddings being a waste. Depressing, really. But I was depressed to begin with. Certain personal matters have fried my brain. Also, I am not getting any younger. Weddings remind people about that and they talk. Oh yes, they talk and they look at me with their crusty pitying eyes. That doesn’t really help. It just depresses me some more. Alright, enough of the personal shit.
Weddings suck. I shouldn’t go ever.