Tag Archives: coffee

Coffee and Procreation

Bombs in Karachi now. But since its very far away, I don’t need to worry about exploding at the moment.

On a less sombre note, considering how I’m hellbent on bitching out everything in general, I went to a well known coffee place today. Nothing special about it really, except how these places always make me feel like a complete fool. And so I sat there (feeling like a complete fool) and observing how it was full of women with babies. Women with tiny bawling babies.

Recently, I have noticed that every place is turning into a daycare facility. Is it just me, or are people really procreating like their lives depended on it? Personally, I have no issues with the proliferation of the human race but don’t we have too many people in Pakistan anyway? Who needs more people when we don’t have gas, electricity and food items to share? And then the endless bawling.

So I’m in a cafe with some people I’m just getting to know and it’s barely working because the music is too loud for conversation. Now that’s another thing that really bothers me. The music is always too loud for conversation. It’s like they want us to leave real fast so they can make more money real fast from bad coffee. That’s why I feel like a complete fool to begin with. And then I hear the babies and I look around. Every other woman has a tiny baby (plus little maid) and it makes me wonder. Why do they bring their babies? I have multiple theories for that one:

  1. They want to show off their little bawling babies (and little maids) to their loser friends with little bawling babies (and little maids). Maybe they’re in some kind of competition which only they know about. Who’s got the loudest baby, the smallest maid, the prettiest pamper etc.
  2. They want to train their babies to be the future aunties and uncles who hang out in these cafes earning loyalty points (buy 5 coffees and get one free) and talking about important things like shopping and golfing (and maybe even art and culture – whatever they mean) while the country falls apart.
  3. They want to reinforce the idea that making babies is a worthwhile past-time. Or the most important past-time. Fertility equals greater personal worth and women who don’t make babies can eat shit and die.
  4. They advertise the evils of birth-control over a cup on insipid coffee.

This baby business is getting out of hand. They even bring them to work now and go home earlier than the baby-less peasants who don’t deserve a moment of rest because they have nothing to show for it.