Tag Archives: closet taliban

Monsters: The Sequel

I heard another story today so I thought I’d post it. This one is about my dad. Now he’s sixty six years old and has a nice little goatee. He likes his little goatee. Nobody has ever had a problem with it. But a few days ago, on a street in Islamabad, somebody didn’t like his goatee. And yeah, you’ve guessed right: it was a bearded (shalwar up to his chest) gentleman (monster/closet taliban).

Now this is how the story goes. My dad was buying something (they always get you when you’re exposed, trying to gratify your consumerism) and up comes a Beard with an attitude. The Beard pokes my dad (on the shoulder, all you dirty minded freaks!) and goes: Your beard is all wrong. Your beard is haram. The right beard is this (pointing at the giant bush on his face) and it is halal. And then he scowls menacingly and says: You should grow a halal beard.

Yes. This actually happened. Ofcourse my dad told him to shove it. Actually, he told the Beard what havoc he would wreck to his nether regions in much detail if he didn’t shut up and run away. And the Beard ran off (like a little girl). But again, what the hell is going on here? Was the Beard excited by my senior citizen dad’s goatee? Or is the world really going insane?

I didn’t even know beards could be halal or haram. First the shorts and now the beards. What next?