I want to break free from your lies
You’re so self satisfied I don’t need you
I have been wondering when I’ll just say enough and make everything stop. I was listening to Queen and it struck me – enough is enough! I’ve run out of patience and self-control. What have I become?
Once upon a time, there was this girl who was part crazy and part girl. The crazy was a prosthetic that helped her cope with life. Then the girl grew up and there was no room for her prosthetic crazy anymore. So she just had to grow a pair, and get on with it. The end.
I was watching the Borg “resistance is futile” bit in some Star Trek episode and wondering how cool prosthetics can be. A week ago, I even had a discussion with a kid in college about prosthetics. Everything is a prosthetic. Our fucking lives are add-ons. But there’s a price to pay, see? So you get a prosthetic limb and call it security/confidence/self-respect. But then in the end, it is a prosthetic. It’s a constructed notion to make you cope, see? Because just living can be such a drag sometimes.
I’ve been trying to find the source for my cynicism and I’m at a loss. Perhaps, it’s the order of the day: The Divine Order of Cynical Beasts. We beat our chests and proclaim to have valuable opinions. I’m so tired. I’m young and a terrible beast of burden. I’m tired of having an opinion.
Maybe this is what growing up means – the entire world creeps into your realm of existence…it crawls in through your ears and starts to live in your brain. But enough about my brain. More on freedom:
freedom: the condition of being free; the power to act, speak or think without externally imposed restraints; immunity from an obligation or duty.
As always, I revert back to the classroom. Does freedom exist? This has come up in our discussions recently and it struck me how I never really considered the idea of freedom to be such a sham before. Is this my cynicism? Or am I just being pragmatic? Having endured a nosebleed from being out in the terrible sun isn’t helping.
The recent events AKA the OBL issue has driven me up the wall. Conflicting information, the annoying so called NEWS and most of all, the opinions (oh GOD the endless opinions) are making me sick in the head. I don’t know what to make of “historical events as they happen” and “breaking news” anymore. Why can’t they have “breaking free news”? Wouldn’t that be awesome. I have no sympathies with terrorists but I have no sympathies with the news either. Both make me puke in my mouth a little.
Coming back to freedom: I saw a sticker on a car today (unfortunately, I was too zonked in the early morning to reach for my phone to click a picture) and it said …and the truth will set you free. Really? Set you free from what, I ask? Can we ever really be free? We aspire to be free. We want freedom. We want things that are free. We want free porn (well, some do) and free tickets and free entertainment. Free is such a powerful word. It draws us like flies to something sweet and sticky.
My colleagues were just fighting about a stupid word. Is that freedom? It’s just disgusting. And here everyone thinks they’re free to say what they like when they just make me sick. Everyone is self-satisfied and so right. Everyone has an opinion. And they’re free to shove it in my face. I’m having trouble with freedom right now. Especially when I got up so early in the morning.
God knows, God knows I want to break free