Aunties Unlimited

There are just too many aunties in this world. As I sat through yet another meeting (this one called by yours truly) I had to endure auntie-dom and fight nausea all at the same time. My only consolation is that I am enduring hardship for the future of Pakistan. Well, kind of.

So there we were, discussing important points for the impending exam week and this auntie (one of many present) starts talking about clothes, her oh so precious children, her stupid life… Picture a woman with peeling eyeliner and a caked face painted many shades lighter than her actual skin-tone. Add lipstick on her teeth. And hair that is almost blonde with ends like grass dried in the sun. Also, don’t forget the incessantly whining tone. And the superiority that comes from having procreated a few times. It’s an impressive combo. Like a junk food meal. It can totally make you sick.

Meanwhile, with thoughts about the impending week of doom, I sat through most of that conversation. I’m polite, you know. The thought of breaking her lipstick stained teeth did occur to me but I controlled myself. I have adopted a non-aggressive stance for my own good. Then she proceeded to discuss her brother’s wedding, assuming everyone was interested. And you know what, they probably were. Except my assistant who is an angel from heaven. It did occur to me to add the details of the stimulating conversation about weddings in the meeting minutes and to send that to the higher ups for review. But what if they enjoyed it too? What if they made such discussions a rule? Then I’d have to kill myself. And I don’t really want to.

These women (and their many bulges and caked makeup) are everywhere. They are hired to teach and they spend most of their time talking about their children. Hell, they even bring their children to work. They don’t let anyone smoke and they talk shit all day. Their children are as annoying as they are. They run about causing trouble. They cry endlessly. Nobody stops them. Sometimes they bring little maids who stare at everything and do nothing while babies shit themselves all over the place. And these aunties get paid anyway. They show up late, leave early – if they bother to come at all. And it’s always the same excuse – my kid is sick. Or the dog ate my precious baby. Whatever.

These are the great teachers of the future of the nation. These aunties will create awareness towards a better tomorrow. These apathetic cows will show us the way.

I wrote this at work and could not post it directly because wordpress is mostly blocked – and the internet mostly doesn’t work. So I brought it home and posted it from here. Sad. But not as sad as what happened today. The horrible killings in Lahore makes me very sad. I’ll just have to work harder to create a sense of tolerance around me. The kids who are my responsibility will not support killing. Screw the damn aunties – I’ll keep doing what I do. We need real education – not fancy pieces of paper with seals on them. We need awareness and tolerance and love and kindness.

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2 responses to “Aunties Unlimited

  1. Where do you work?
    A school?
    I like ur passion for doing good and aiming high for pakistan.

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